Downsizing your aging loved ones

The Downsizing Generation: How to Handle a Surplus of Stuff When a Loved One Ages

The baby boomer generation is aging – and downsizing – which means that more and more adult children will be tasked with going through their loved one’s belongings to decide what to do with everything. As more and more people downsize after retirement, china sets, furniture, heirlooms, and other belongings are often left behind and unwanted.

Traditionally, these items have been passed down to the next generation. But today, the next generation has different needs, tastes, and wants. As a result, there is a surplus of “stuff” baby boomers don’t need or have room for, and their adult children don’t want. Maybe that includes you.

This is an all too common problem with a few helpful solutions.

The thought of tossing a lifetime of belongings in the trash is more than many can bear, which explains the advent of the senior move management industry. Today, there are a plethora of professionals who can help your loved one go through each item to decide what should be kept, what should be given away, and what should go to charity or donated.

The cost of this professional service is very reasonable for typical estates, but can be up to $5,000 for a large estate.  Regardless of the cost, it eases the burden on the adult children and ensures the loved one’s wishes are listened to and honored.

Too Many Donations?

Interestingly, as the baby boomer generation ages, charities and nonprofits that typically accept used furniture and other belongings are faced with the burden of too much stuff. The dated styles baby boomers preferred during their prime don’t fit the tastes and needs of today’s generation.

The current generation views belongings like furniture and dishes as functional and more disposable, better suited to their urban, fast-paced lives where minimalism and portability are more prized than sentimentality and tradition.

What is an heirloom?

Another way to decrease the time and effort it takes to dispose of all your belongings is to be very clear about what you consider to be heirlooms and valuable items by indicating in your will, or in a separate writing ancillary to your will, exactly what’s important to you and what isn’t.  In that way, your family can see, in the Will, what matters to you and they can handle things accordingly.

One of my clients has gone through several downsizes … each time losing items that were of sentimental value.  In the next version, she will end up in skilled nursing, with very little space.  To the extent possible she has been able to give away most of the items she cared about.  That softens the loss.  But, be aware that some aging elders will have significant grief associated with the loss of sentimental items.  Try to give things away that matter to your loved ones so you can enjoy their delight at receiving a treasured item.

Have the conversation!

Most importantly, talk to your children or other heirs to see what they want and don’t want. And to make sure they know what’s important to you, and what isn’t. The more you can communicate about this now with your loved ones, the better.

You may be surprised to discover that many family fights that break up families aren’t over money at all, but over mom and dad’s personal property … the fight arises because there were no clear instructions.

Plan ahead

As more baby boomers age and non-profits turn away dated donations,  the need for thoughtful estate planning is greater than ever. A comprehensive estate plan can ensure your belongings either go to those who will cherish them or to charities that will benefit from them.

Contact us!

If you need assistance with finding the right resource, or just a way to facilitate a conversation about possessions, we are here to help.

Call us at 919-883-2800, or schedule a meeting.

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