They know what I want…

A recent article from Northwestern Mutual says otherwise.

An astonishing 69% of people have not planned and NEVER ASKED the people they expect to provide care for them … those family members who will provide care for loved ones don’t know what is coming!

If they do not know what you want, or that you want THEM to be a part of the decisions, things WILL NOT GO AS YOU HOPE!

Don’t keep your wishes a secret!

Have the conversation with your loved ones about how you want to be treated, and how you want to be cared for as you age.  “Hoping” is not a plan.  “Thinking” about doing something is not a plan.

Take steps today to PLAN.  What should you set up first?

Money Matters

You should have Financial Powers of Attorney planned, completed, and recorded with your county (yes, I know, recording isn’t required anymore … do it anyway).  These powers allow someone to help make decisions for you when you cannot.  For example, paying your bills, making sure your living accommodations are taken care of, and keeping current with taxes.

Does it matter?

You bet!  I had a client a couple of years ago who stopped her auto-withdrawal from the bank for her mortgage.  She suffered from dementia and didn’t trust the bank and thought they were stealing from her.

Guess what?   You probably know … her house was foreclosed on, and she died alone in a nursing home.

What about Medical decisions?

Same thing … you need a Medical Power of Attorney to be sure that someone can make medical decisions when you cannot.  For example, if you have a stroke and need care, what are your planned wishes for care?  No one will know if you can’t speak for yourself.  Proper Medical Documents allow us to help you put your thoughts into writing, so you can speak through your agent.

Don’t delay!  Life can change in an instant!

Do you drive a car?  Then, you are at risk of an accident every minute!
Do you walk around your house or apartment?  Then, you can trip and fall!

I have clients for whom both have happened, with tragic results.

Come see us!

Make the plans.  Powers of Attorney, and Wills and/or trusts.  Then, have the conversation with your family!

We can help with all your needs, including protecting your children!!

Call today!  919-883-2800

Or, schedule a session with us.

Don’t wait!

No, I’m not kidding, do not wait another minute!  Call 919-883-2800 right now.

Elder Abuse is a national problem

Why does mom have a black eye?  Is it elder abuse?  I work with many families in my practice.  A lot of them have a loved one with some sort of dementia. From time to time, I see behaviors that look a lot like elder abuse. I bet you do too.

Active Elder Abuse

Active elder abuse such as striking the elder (physical), or yelling at them (psychological), or stealing their debit card (financial) are the obvious events.  These should be reported and families should be on the lookout for this type of abuse.  Observe whenever the elder is visited by any family member.  Ask questions and don’t let “oh, I am fine, dear” be the only answer when you suspect some problem.  Dig deeper … your elder may need an advocate.

When the elder is ignored, is that elder abuse?  It may be if it leads to bed sores, falls that injure the elder, or worse.  What about simply their making bad decisions on their own because there is no one watching over them?  It is hard for a family to kow.  Is letting dad live on his own  “respectful distance” and allowing him the freedom to thrive?  When does it become a situation that is actively dangerous?  And, it is hard to know when to change gears from passive observation to an active role in protecting or managing the elder.

Competence is the real issue … does making a “bad” decision mean he is incompetent?  Does purchasing a minor repair for an outrageous sum of money rise to the level of incompetence of the elder or a criminal act by the seller?  Probably not.  Morally reprehensible maybe, but abuse?   That is a hard line to draw.

Resources

Here is a link to a resource from “Aging In Place”, a national organization that supports the needs of families and elders in the aging process.  It reminds us of the statistics and what you can do about elder abuse.  Most important is not to ignore it… too often that leads to worse things for the elder and their families. Never wait if you spot active elder abuse.

Here is another blog posting you can reference when you visit your elder .. not only during the holidays but every time you visit.  And here is a guide for visits to communities or their home.

Contact my office if you have questions about elder planning, legal documents, Wills and Trusts, or how to find resources to help you and your loved ones.  We are happy to help!

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Top Attorney​, 2015-2016​